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I have remained quiet about a major move coming up in our lives because in so many ways it has felt too good to be true. However, the movers are called, the title company meeting is set, and our kids now know what’s happening so I think it’s time to let the cat out of the bag.
We are moving to my childhood home. It’s an incredibly special home; not only did I grow up there but my mom did as well. Her parents purchased the home when she was only eight years old. When my mom was 32 years old, her parents died suddenly in a plane crash. As the oldest child, she inherited the home. I was born three years later.
It’s amazing to think that Josie, Grace and Rowan will be the fourth generation in my family living in the home, especially in California where multi-generational homes are few and far between.
The home itself is a peaceful oasis and an ideal place to grow up.
I’m confident that in no time Graham will pick a large oak tree to construct a treehouse for the kids. We had one growing up that my dad built for us. Sadly, the oak that held our childhood treehouse became sick and was cut down last year. It felt a bit devastating to see just the stump of the tree that provided so many memories. But in a way, it’s perfect timing because that allows the opportunity for us to find our own tree for our own family and thereby making the home ours. Perhaps it was a gift from one son-in-law who took over the house to the next.
Over Thanksgiving, my mom’s brother told Graham and I how when my parents moved into the home, my dad was adamant to make changes in order to create a home that was truly his and my mom’s, not my grandparents. In writing this, I can see the stump of the oak as a symbolic passing from my childhood to my children’s. They get to pick their own tree, find their own special places and create their own memories independent of mine. And so often, we live life through the eyes of our children.
While some things from my childhood will go, others will always remain to keep the stories and traditions that are vital to me, the house and my family history alive.
Last weekend, Graham and his mom pruned the roses in the rose garden out in the rain. And while that is a memory they will cherish, it reminded me of my dad who put so much care and energy into those roses. On Sundays when the family worked in the yard, he would take us kids around the roses and teach us how to care for them in a meticulous and delicate way. They were clearly his babies. He would also share with us, how much my mom’s dad loved the roses. It was a tidbit of information about grandparents (whom I never knew) that I held onto. It’s beautiful to think of Graham picking up the shears not only in honor of my father but my grandfather as well.
Thinking of roses brings to mind our wedding day which was held at home; the tables and my bouquet were all filled to the absolute brim with austin roses. The home was in some of the best shape of its life as my parents carefully worked with our landscape designer, scrutinizing every last flower.
Graham and I had an epic first dance on our wedding day, if I do say so myself, to INXS “Never Tear Us Apart.” We boogied as free as can be on the badminton court. The very spot that I used to go lay my shivering body against after a dip in the cold pool growing up, as the court would heat up dramatically by the sun. The very spot my mom and her siblings would challenge each other to game after game. And the very spot where our girls love to drive their bikes round and round.
My personal family’s memories will be made there as the others will begin to fade for me but what’s so beautiful is the entanglement of all of them. If these walls could talk, the stories they would tell. And with any luck, Graham and I will proudly pass the house down to the next generation when the time comes for a new chapter.
I am forever thankful to my mom, a hero of mine, and to my brothers, who I will always look up to, for giving us the opportunity to live in this house. We will honor the home’s past but also forge our own path to make it new to us. And I will continue to document the stories, when the need to write overcomes me, here on this little, intentionally tiny, corner of the internet. Thank you for reading!
I have a confession, as I write this, our Christmas tree is still up. It’s not as if we can’t let go of Christmas, it is very much as if we can’t get our acts together. I swear it’s coming down today. Shouldn’t there be an ap to do the work for me?
Point being, since the tree is still up, I felt I could do a look back at the tablescapes of last year and it not seem terribly late.
2016’s blogging resolution was for me to do a tablescape a month. Three weeks after I made that resolution, I found out I was pregnant with Rowan. And he was completely worth every broken resolution because he is the cutest, sweetest love bug.
I did not pull off twelve tablescapes but I did pull off five. Here they are.
Ode to our new arts and crafts table with an all paper tablescape
All girl cousins Easter tablescape
One Room Challenge Reveal
Bora Bora Bridal Bash
East Coast New Year’s dinner
It’s hard to tell but the tablecloth was sequined.
And one week into 2017, I did my first tablescape. Hoping to pull off more tables this year but I’m not holding myself to any numbers this time around.
Rainy Night Family Dinner Boredom Stuck Inside Tablescape
I have sat silent since the election desperately wanting the words to come to me for a blog post. But they have not. However, I can not bear to let another day pass in silence.
Because I know a 14 year old girl who had to stick up for a Muslim classmate as kids taunted “deport her.”
Because a friend from college who is an extremely talented and fair reporter has received hateful threats.
Because my brother, a second grade teacher, walked into a classroom of crying, scared seven year olds the day after the election.
Because our beloved nanny who is like family to us feels she may have to walk around with papers proving she is a US citizen.
Because while out walking yesterday, I struck up a conversation with a black woman, also walking with her baby. She told me that right after she posted something about the rise in hate crimes on Facebook, she received a phone call. Before she saw who the phone call was from (it was a friend), her first thought was that it was the KKK coming after her.
Because I have three children that I have devoted my life to, in order to teach them to love and respect others, and I refuse to let this world of hate become the norm.
No one deserves to live in fear.
I beg of you to give to the American Civil Liberties Union and know you are working to do your part for the innocent little girl in Texas, for the woman who is a brilliant writer, for the woman who pours her love into my little girls, for the man who has dedicated his life to educating the underserved, for the woman who is a preschool teacher, a mother and a caring wife, for my three kids who see the best in everyone.
Silence doesn’t work. No matter who you voted for speak out for social justice with your voice, with your time or with your wallet. Please donate to an organization that fights for the rights of everyone, contact your senator and express your concerns, volunteer at an organization that means something to you. Talk, listen and be the change.
Designers whiz past me with their perfectly put together rooms. They spark in me a desire to create, a delight of the visual senses and a tinge of jealousy.
But then I look down at my sleeping baby, feeling safest in my arms. His tiny fingers, his fluffy spiked brown hair, his slightly open mouth, his button nose and I remember why my fabric boxes have sat unopened, why the design center remains shut to me, why the look books head straight to the recycling bins.
Because holding a baby is what I dreamt of since I was a little girl. Because putting his skin against mine heals my heart. Because that little baby face and those tiny baby toes. Because the moment already feels fleeting as I mourn the passing of infancy. Because just as I protect Rowan, Rowan protects me.
The girls flit around the kitchen, bouncing with delight as their Halloween costumes have arrived. Their imaginations take flight and make believe worlds are created within mere minutes. Cheers and giggles, flutters and hops. Happiness abounds in the moment. And I already feel nostalgic as I live it.
My whole family is here. Graham and I steal glances at each other and give smiles as we both revel in the love. It can’t possibly get cuter and then it does with a sweet “this is the best day ever” from Josie or an “oh my goodness” from Gracie. Simultaneous bum bum dances from the girls while Rowan feeds and Graham arranges dinner to the tune of the Oh Hellos. This is living.
Certainly motherhood is a full time eb and flow. Three little ones depending on me is a massive undertaking. The ebs are painfully difficult. Running from child to child as one has an accident, the other pulls off her own poopy diaper and the infant blows out all over his pajamas – perfectly timed in unison, to test my stamina. These moments have happened. Gray hairs have instantly appeared.
But then the flow comes shortly after. All kids cleaned up, accidents wiped away. I walk in on the scene of Grace “reading” to Rowan while Josie gently strokes his feet. It’s a moment I alone witness. One that any description will never give away the full beauty of what I saw. A moment that I remind myself makes every eb worth it.
I’ve got my brood and I couldn’t be more grateful for who they are and where they’ve brought me too. So happy I get to be exactly where I am.
All photos taken by the ridiculously talented Liz Perryman.
Today, I’m so pleased to write this post. Our son, Rowan Donald is here!! Rowan arrived on Sept. 9 through a planned c-section that went very smoothly. He came bursting into the world with a head full of dark hair and a beautiful wail, utterly full of life.
With the c-section, we were blessed with five days in the hospital with around the clock care from nurses and a little “cave time” just me, Graham and Rowan. We’re now home and we are in hustle and bustle mode.
Life is full. Full on that is. Trying to juggle all three kids is a massive challenge. But one that I’m also reaping the rewards of. The other night, I was feeding Rowan while the girls danced to Paul Simon while Graham cooked dinner and I couldn’t help but feel that was one of the happiest, most content moments of my life. I have my complete family.
I’ve had lots of people ask how we came up with Rowan’s name and so I thought I would share.
Ever since my dad passed away (his name was Donald), I’ve wanted a son to pass my dad’s name onto. Graham lovingly agreed and so we had our son’s middle name picked out to be Donald. However, my favorite boy’s name since I was young has always been Miles. But I have a brother named Miles and a brother named Donald so the name Miles Donald was a bit too much. I had to pick between a first name and a middle name.
Graham and I were out to dinner discussing our options when I said that I couldn’t bear holding my son and not passing on my father’s name. That it would mean so much to me to explain to Rowan who he was named after and it would fill a piece of my heart that aches when my dad is not there at the hospital to welcome another grandchild. So Graham replied, “than it’s no question. Donald is the middle name.” At that very moment, “American Pie” the song that is absolutely my dad’s and my song came on at the restaurant. I cried happy tears knowing that my dad was sending down his thanks and approval on the middle name.
We then began discussing the first name and it was between a couple of names, Rowan being on the list. We went through the list and we both decided that we liked the name Rowan the best. Right as we decided that, “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong came on at the restaurant. That was the song that my dad and I danced to on my wedding day. I cried again. It felt like such a strong sign that dad was there, watching over us and his grandson.
We were pretty sure we had the first name set at Rowan but we continued to play with other names as we came across them. Then I was hit with a huge pregnancy scare. At about 25 weeks, they thought that my placenta had potentially attached to scar tissue on my uterus from previous c-sections. If this was the case, they were going to have to remove my entire uterus in order to save my life. We had to go to some specialists and run through some tests to see if things were attached. This became one of the scariest times of my life. During this anxious time, I read that in ancient times people thought the Rowan tree had protective powers. I hung on to that thought and I decided that Rowan would protect me and I would protect him and that we would be in this together. That got me through the testing period when they thankfully found that nothing was attached and I could keep my uterus and have a routine c-section.
The final moment that really sealed the name was telling Graham’s cousin, Rowan, that we were going to name our son, Rowan. Graham’s cousin has always been like a brother to Graham and he is one of my favorite people as well. He lives in South Africa but happened to be in town the weekend before I gave birth. It was a beautiful moment letting him know and seeing how touched and moved he was.
So there you have it, how the name came to be. And now our handsome son is here and he has our hearts bursting. We all love him so much, including his massively doting sisters who are very good at petting him.
Life is full but also grand.
Life has been moving along. At moments, life feels to be going at a manic pace as I try to wrap my head around caring for another child in two weeks. More often, life has been painfully slow, time stands still no matter how often I look at the clock. My energy is drained as I waddle after my three and two year old.
The part of my being that has been completely zapped dry for the past month or so is the creative portion. Creativity for me is a massive source of energy and so I feel the lag when I have no interest in writing or decorating.
Fortunately, a gift has fallen into my lap. I was recently recognized for my decorating and something very exciting may come out of it. I’d like to be annoyingly vague while I wait for more details. However, it has helped to push me out of my artist slump. While I can’t be taking on new clients currently, I figured the house is in need of attention.
Specifically, this powder bath that has been screaming to be turned into a “jewel box” since the moment we moved in.
It has remained a neglected little spot under out stairwell but I’ve always wanted to give it the attention that it needs.
For several reasons, we will not be retiling. The penny tile will for sure be painted white as it is in very dingy in person and it’s time for a facelift. One option is to just paint the penny tile and to keep the mellow yellow 40’s wall tile as is. In which case, this would be my plan…
Make a roman shade above the sink in the beautiful Raoul Textile fabric, and then pull out the green in the fabric and wallpaper the walls and ceiling in the green grasscloth and then possibly pull out the seafoam blue in the pattern and make a skirt for the sink with a yellow trim. Or make a skirt in the same green color as walls. Also, that light is on order for the ceiling so that’s happening. The Raoul sample is in the mail; I have to make sure the yellows are right with the tile or else this entire plan of keeping the antique tile is out the window.
Another option is to paint both the ground and wall tile white to give it a nice bright refresh – it is a pretty dark room.
For this plan, I would paint everything a creamy white and then wallpaper the walls and ceiling in a chunky raffia. I would then use the beautiful Colefax and Fowler bowood fabric for a roman shade above the sink. And I was thinking either a federal style mirror above the toilet or a gallery wall of antique mirrors around the room since there isn’t a mirror above the sink and it would also bounce around light. Perhaps skirt the sink in the same bowood fabric.
Memos are ordered and in my current watermelon bearing state, I don’t have the willpower to drive to the design center so we’ll just wait for snail mail. Seems I’m all about the waiting game nowadays.
But, I know, just like our small powder bath, good things come in tiny packages. And really, truly, I’m over the moon excited for the arrival of our little man and the miracle of another baby. I can’t stop thinking about the moment that I get to hold him in my arms. And all that I get to experience with having a son! I also am in disbelief that we get to have three children; a blessing science will never be able to explain. As much as I want to move time forward to his birth, may he stay put for the next two weeks as I am very aware that all the best things in life are worth the wait.
As I mentioned on Monday, I’ve got nursery photos for you for one of the most fun clients I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with.
It all began with an e-mail from my friend, Katie, who I also went to college with. Katie and I were sorority sisters and among other things, we share a love for fashion. We went to a small liberal arts college in a rural Washington town; out of sea of hiking performance gear, Katie and I were little misfits in head to toe J. Crew ensembles. Katie and her twin sister, Regan, share a passion for fashion and have the most tempting fashion blog that I know of: Cardigans and Couture. It’s a must read.
Anyway, back to the e-mail. Katie asked if I would help with her nursery. She wanted, gingham, floral and a map dress. I couldn’t respond “Yes, please” fast enough.
Katie also partnered with The Container Store who worked their organizational magic for all the itty bitty girl clothes.
Without further ado – the reveal…
Here you see where the gingham and map dress come to play. Katie wanted a navy and white gingham and I was completely on board. I love that we paired it with a green paper dress. Katie chose this particular dress because she has a love for good penmanship.
To the left of the crib, is this gorgeous bone inlay dresser with a matching diaper changing pad from Restoration Hardware. I don’t have a good shot of it closed but here you can see it with all of it’s amazing organizational pieces.
And now for the floral mix into the room. Love, love, love how these drapes came out…
We went for custom drapes and chose a waverly fabric – “Candid Moment Gardenia.” I love the bold colors but also the sophisticated feel to the fabric so it can grow with the sweet little baby. I pulled the pink from a flower in the fabric in the glider from Ballard Designs.
I wanted to add a touch of masculinity to counter balance the drapes and glider so I went with the Les Touches pillow in brown, which also picked up the brown in the branches of the drape fabric. There is also hints of yellow in the fabric and so the geometric rug by Dash and Albert has a yellow undertone that tied in with that.
Next to the glider is the cutest side table in the world. And it’s Target, people. Everyone pretty much needs it in their lives. The little blue table lamp is also from Target and a fun tie in to a blue hummingbird in the fabric.
Also these container store bins could not be more perfect with the drapes!
And perhaps most important of all, pink hunter boots for the future fashionista…
This was such a pleasure to work on! Katie’s baby arrives next week. Eeeek!!
Head on over to Katie’s blog where she has links to all the pieces in the room.