Making Friends

January 8, 2015 at 5:55 AM 14 comments

It finally feels time to dust off my computer.  Let the words flow to my finger tips, as they play their song vigorously on my keyboard.  Writing has always been my outlet.  My journey marker.  My favorite form of expression.  I hope to carve out time to let the joy of writing back into my life.

My previous post was all about looking back on 2014.  Today, I rise again and look to set a goal for the blossoming new year.  While there are a million things I’d love to improve, personal quirks that make me cringe or deeply formed habits that I’d love to wish away, I like to focus on just one thing in the hopes that perhaps I will meet the goal.

This year, in my mid thirties (cringe), it’s time to face something that I actually find quite challenging – making friends.  Yep, friends.

You see, I actually have a whole slew of friends…apparently, I feel I have to qualify myself so I don’t come off as a complete loser (see above to habits I’d like to wish away).

But, in the neighborhood I live in – I’ve got nothing.  In the city I live in, I’ve got one.  I love to say to my friends who live in SF, “come move to Burlingame, I’ll introduce you to my one friend”  And my one friend and I aren’t on BFF terms yet.  Although, I’m working on it.  We don’t text each other throughout the day with random thoughts.  We don’t laugh so hard we have a little tinkle from our lovely post baby bodies.  We’re both coming off of pregnancies and so we haven’t even hit a tequila bar together yet.  But, it’ll happen.  Because all those things are on my new years resolution list to do with her.  Little does she know.

This may be one of my toughest resolutions yet.  Because it’s a bit out of my control.  The only thing I can do is attempt to set up a play date and then wait as cooly as I possibly can for a response.  “oh what’s that?  you want to meet up?  no big deal at all” I wasn’t at home sweating over the whole thing.

Sweat I do, my dear “internet friends” (as my husband refers to you).  I’m horrible at making the first move; it makes me waaaay too nervous.  In fact, I’m lousy at picking the strand back up when people reach out to me.  I lose touch easily.  I kind of hate talking on the phone.  And I lose my phone at least once a day.

Making friends in your 30’s is tough.  Making friends with an initially shy demeanor is brutal.  But, I’m going for it.  Cause my god hanging out with friends, true friends, is ridiculously fun.  It’s time I build that community again.

So, here’s old me, someone whose pretty relaxed on parenting but really enjoys it and doesn’t feel like complaining about it all the time; someone who is pretty much down for a glass of wine if offered, no matter the time; someone who loves to talk design and all things gorgeous but could give a rats ass if your home is in disarray or not how you’d like it to look – I promise I won’t judge; someone who is always down for a good laugh and prefers not to take things too seriously.  Yes, this is my friend profile.

There it is.  It’s officially out there.  Time to start making some awkward phone calls and creeping other moms out at the park with my “hows it going?” icebreakers.  Good Lord, I hate this.  Wish me luck.

IMG_2770

Photo fittingly taken by the first friend I ever made and a BFF for life when I ran into her on the streets of Palo Alto and it brightened my whole day.  Hi Jules!

Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Looking Back at 2014 Paisley Love

14 Comments Add your own

  • 1. deborah moore manning  |  January 8, 2015 at 7:25 AM

    Cutest Mom & Daughters Photo of 2015! Loved this post, Kate. . . On making Friends in your 30’s in a new city and a new neighborhood; it’s the same as it was in Kindergarten: let it happen. Your style, friendliness, ‘cool factor’ will win the day and those that respond will be the ones that “get you”. Relax and let it come to you; it will. Guaranteed.
    xd

    Reply
    • 2. katecollinsinteriors  |  January 8, 2015 at 11:12 AM

      Thank you so much about the photo and for the great advice! It is just like Kindergarten – and I clung to my mom’s leg before heading in the front door but I ended up loving it. Here we go – time to dive back in!

      Reply
  • 3. Beth Savino  |  January 8, 2015 at 9:27 AM

    Thanks for pointing out what I couldn’t put into words! My thoughts exactly – thanks for solidifying my new years resolution!! Too bad we’re across the country from each other and can’t make new friends together!!

    Reply
    • 4. katecollinsinteriors  |  January 8, 2015 at 10:46 AM

      glad I’m not the only one – I felt embarrassed posting this. So wish we were in the same city!! Here’s to awkward mom conversations – ha!

      Reply
  • 5. Anna  |  January 8, 2015 at 9:55 AM

    I hear you! Meeting new mamas is like picking up a guy at a bar, with the big difference of your kids being a selling point! Good luck Kate and I wish I was there to be your friend! I am already jealous of your new friends. Anna

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Reply
    • 6. katecollinsinteriors  |  January 8, 2015 at 11:11 AM

      Anna – my biggest dream would be you and me in the same city. Oh the play dates we would have! It would be a huge continuation of college roomies – we would probably all just snuggle all day. Ha!

      Reply
  • 7. Ann  |  January 8, 2015 at 10:33 AM

    Kate – I started reading your blog a few years ago after we met briefly at a party _i’m a huge fan of both your writing and design style. And, since I feel the same way you do about friends (switching metropolitan areas twice between 2009 and 2012 didn’t help) AND since I live in Burlingame, I will raise my hand and say let’s be friends. I don’t yet have children, but I’m terrified that without them I might never make a new friend down here in the ‘burbs. Let’s be friends – what do you think?

    Reply
    • 8. katecollinsinteriors  |  January 8, 2015 at 10:44 AM

      Ann! I would love that! Yes, let’s meet up. I’ll send you an e-mail.

      Reply
  • 9. Megan - Otomi Home  |  January 8, 2015 at 3:55 PM

    Love love love this post Kate! Its so true, meeting ‘friends’ is hard in the burbs, I still struggle and I’ve lived here for 5+ years! Well, we’ll be one step closer after meeting next week! 🙂

    Reply
  • 10. Anne {Almost Home}  |  January 8, 2015 at 4:10 PM

    Let the record state that I am quite happy to call you an internet friend 🙂 And as someone who has moved around a lot–I get it. It is tough to have to start afresh with making friends in your 30s, though I’ve found that having kids in common does tend to make things easier. Plus, your candid, self-decprecating ways will inevitably endear you to fellow mamas near and far. 🙂 ps. let me know if you ever find yourself on I-80 and headed toward Davis! xo

    Reply
  • 11. Camille  |  January 8, 2015 at 9:30 PM

    Having two young kids at home can be so isolating! You have those small windows of time you can be out of the house because of naps and then your total attention has to be focused on your wee ones when you have left the house — hard even to carry on a conversation. Add on top of that an addled brain from lack of sleep. It’s no wonder it feels hard to make friends, especially when you’ve moved to a new area. I remember feeling that way too when we first moved back to California and my two were still under one. Quite normal, I think. Wished we lived closer!

    Reply
  • 12. Kristina  |  January 9, 2015 at 7:59 AM

    Kate- thanks so much for sharing this post. Although, I just moved within NYC, moving to a different area in the city is like moving to a totally different city. Thus, I have found myself in the same position. It is nice to know that others feel the same way. Here’s to 2015 and finding our way within our new areas! 😘

    Reply
  • 13. Gene O'Rourke  |  January 9, 2015 at 8:27 AM

    Beautifully real reflection of the Kate I love.

    Reply
  • 14. Mary Karen Euler  |  January 9, 2015 at 7:21 PM

    As a friend of your mom’s, I’m probably outside of your target age range…and as a Colorado resident, I’m definitely outside of your geographical parameters. But I’m all about wine & design…any time! Maybe you could create design gatherings, each with a theme, and serve wine…kind of like a book club? OK, I’m in Mexico and HAVE had a couple of mango margaritas!

    Reply

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